Home!

Well, I have obviously been home for a long time, but I thought I'd give an update on here as to what God's been doing with me and what God's been leading me into for the next time here.....

Well, as I think most of you know, I'm going back to work with Oxygen, the arts group at the YWAM base in Adelaide. While there, I'll be staffing a DTS (same as what I did last year, just in leadership), going on outreach with them, and a couple other outreaches, and taking a course called a Basic Leadership School. I really feel that this is what God has led me into for this next season of my life. At this point, I'm loosely thinking that I'll be there for a year, but it really is up to God! I have no further plans after this, which I'm finding is a really cool place to be.

So, I've been home for over two months now, and I have really seen God working in so many ways in my life and it's really been a good time to be home, to process everything that happened in the last 6 months, to relax, spend time with my family, reconnect with people.....

At first, I was really finding it hard to fit back into my old life - God has changed me so much, and I felt out of place in most contexts, had to learn again how to relate with people who hadn't been with me for the last 6 months. In no way was it that I felt in any way higher or better or whatever, it was just so different to what I'd gotten used to - reverse culture shock, I guess. One of the things was really striving to do was to find my purpose here, to see what God wanted me to DO, what group I should volunteer with, whose life I could impact. And then I was getting really frustrated, cuz I just didn't see how I was doing anything productive, I felt like I must be missing out on whatever I was supposed to be doing. Part of it was that I was so used to be doing ministry all the time, I didn't know how to not do that anymore, I didn't know how to just have a casual conversation without assuming that it was superficial or shallow. All of this was stuff I knew to expect, I knew "re-entry" was going to be hard, but living it is different than hearing it "in theory". So, anyway, I just kept asking God to show me my purpose, my mission, my task here (hmmmm, sure sounds like Martha in the Bible to me), but what I was missing was that time just sitting at Jesus' feet, keeping myself acquainted with him.

Well, I honestly don't know all what changed, but this last week has been very different; my friend, Laura, from DTS sent me an email encouraging me to just look around where I already am (she said this in a more blunt Laura way, which was what I needed to hear - thanks Laura), cuz this is where God has me, and she was very, very right. I also just started spending more time just talking to God like a friend- usually out loud in the car :) - telling him what I'm feeling, thanking him for what he's given me, praying for my friends and family.......and it has been SO different. My eyes have been opened to the little opportunities that there are every day, and I think that once my focus isn't so on DOING stuff, God has actually given me lots of more little things to do, that have all given me so much joy. I've had several opportunities to talk to friends who are planning to do a DTS somewhere, encouraging them, giving them packing advice, praying for them. It has been a HUGE blessing to me that God is using me for that! The other thing I've done is just been praying before I go to work, asking God that something I say to the other girls I work with will make a difference to them, and I have had a couple good conversations. I'm really hoping God is using me there, even in ways I may never see!

I've also been able to look back on my time home, and see what God HAS been doing. There were several things I still needed to process from DTS, baggage I needed to get rid of and move on from. These were all definitely important things for me to work through before I go back to do more ministry. Just realizing that there HAS been purpose and growth was a big relief. I think that my heart has turned from asking God for things and changed to being thankful for what he has been doing and what he has given me - and that has been a huge thing. I'm glad that only took me 2 and a half months to figure out...........wow, I'm so thankful that we serve a patient, merciful God. Of course, realizing this has made me see little opportunities that I probably missed, in the great search of my purpose - haha. But, again, thanks to God for his grace!

You know, that just made me think of a verse that I think God gave me a little bit before I left for my DTS, 1 Timothy 1:12 - "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him." Wow, thankfulness really is the key to my service to God. And remembering that he chose me, I didn't choose him.

Well, this has gotten long, but tonight I have just felt so much joy, so blessed (and my good mood is only partly due to the obscene amount of caffiene that I've consumed today) and I thought I'd share it with......whoever reads this thing. Getting perspective and letting God open my eyes is a really good thing.
Well, blessings to you!
Your prayers for my coming year are greatly appreciated. I am so blessed by all those who I know love me! I love you, too!!!!

My prayer is that each of you can so clearly see the things that God is doing in your life, too!